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[ 4 cracked spines ] [ Speak up ][ Disclaimer ] [18 Jan 2003|06:25pm] [ mood | Unfathomably foolish. ] Ok, hello. I don't want to open old wounds, but I am alive from the dead. I might think of ways to be more evil than what I was. Hopefully I will. I'm glad to see Kipper and Perry up to the usual. I think. And Lisa, Nothing I could ever say would make up for what I did to you. I left you in the prime of our relationship, and I'm dying inside because of it. So what do you all say, forgive an old bloke for his imbecility?

[ 8 cracked spines ] [ Speak up ][ Disclaimer ] [02 Nov 2002|07:49pm] [ mood | busy ] I'm suprised so many of you who I thought would never forget me, already have. But I guess that's what happens.

[ 2 cracked spines ] [ Speak up ][ Disclaimer ] [26 Oct 2002|12:58am] [ mood | cold ] Fuck, hey. When was the last time I was on here? [Ahem, the current situation is that my old computer is currently in the trash, since is crashed on me, and the shop said they couldn't fix it.. I missed a lot of important things planned. The computer I'm using isn't mine, and I'm not supposed to be using it in the first place. So you won't see a lot of me much until the computer crisis changes or until I have the ability to sneak onto this computer again. I'm very sorry for the few inconveniences caused by this.] I am also rejoicing at that I've gained friends. ::Cough::AlyssaMilano<3::Cough:: And a few others. That's always good.

[ 1 cracked spine ] [ Speak up ][ Disclaimer ] [20 Oct 2002|04:13pm] [ mood | stressed ] There's a really good reason why people are not supposed to come to London to visit Ray Park. ::Dusts whilest typing:: Wow. I can't believe this. ::Cough::

[ 2 cracked spines ] [ Speak up ][ Disclaimer ] [17 Oct 2002|02:28pm] [ mood | intimidated ] It's hard to eat when you're headbanging. A most obvious observation. I suppose being an idiot has its advantages. For instance.. I always have an excuse. =] I watched another Lisa Kudrow movie last night. Groaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnn. She was stunning. Mmph. I can't really describe it. Jeans, black tshirt with fan-fucking-tastic boots, and flowing silvery blond hair. Gorgeous face, simply gorgeous. Body to die for. Honest. So lovely. Gah. It's burned into the back of my eyeballs. My lips yern for her touch. I watched her through the tv screen. When she bent over to adjust her shoelaces, I thought I'd keel over on the spot. I moaned aloud, I'm sure, and when someone got between me and this orgasmic vision, I leapt about like a mad thing trying to keep my line of sight. I was litterally pressed against the tv. Her personality compliments her utter beauty and grace. She was a woman on a mission. Somebody give me a rusty spoon so I can gouge my eyes out. It's too much to bear witness too. And she's mine. And I'm hers. And I can't beleive it. I love that feeling of coming into a warm house after being outside in the cold for a while. I trained in the wet of a rainy London park again. Some people stopped and watched me. Probably because I was soaked to the bone, and there's quite a lot too see under my currently drying white shirt. Don't you dislike it when white shirts become translucent when wet? I had to keep my guard up visual-wise. You never know when a Matthew Perry's on the loose in London. ;] Have I mentioned recently that I really, really want a vacation? I have? Oh.

[ 13 cracked spines ] [ Speak up ][ Disclaimer ] [15 Oct 2002|05:27pm] [ mood | numb ] I think the sky is trying to win me back after a shitty summer. It's been grey, cold, and rainy here for the past few weeks. A norm for London. It might even snow tonight. I guess it's forgiven. Either I've lost my funny, or my comment whores are dead. Any takers? There's good pay involved.

[ Speak up ][ Disclaimer ] [14 Oct 2002|02:09pm] [ mood | restless ] Autumn has a tendancy to drench me in memories and nostalgia. I've said that before, but I think it's a great phenomenon. No matter how miserable I could have been at the time these things were happening, it never fails that I wish I could have it back. I think I live too much in the past. As for the future, I have no idea what will turn out. I'm at a point where my options are running thin and my choices regarding those options are just as meager. But something will work eventually. It's the eventually that upsets me. It's like I have a clock ticking in my head, telling me that something needs to change now, but there's nothing I can do for it but wait.. And so I wonder: Once everything is settled and I'm moving forward with some plan or another, will Autumn make me wish I was back here? I'm starting to wonder if I'm even capable of such things.

[ 8 cracked spines ] [ Speak up ][ Disclaimer ] [13 Oct 2002|06:52pm] [ mood | lonely ] I haven't been on the computer in a while. I'm way too far behind in pimpage to even bother doing it, and I can't even begin to imagine all the new posts and updates you all have made that I usually live on to read. Thank you all who added me back. So now I have nothing to do but listen to music and talk about nothing and then decide to download more music onto my almost out of space computer. I have half my space taken with Lisa and Matthew pictures. On the other hand, I do have a headache and a load of training to do and I seriously have the urge to bomb something to nothing. I could always go and eat some yogurt and icecream though.. A final note: Congrats to Matthew and Kip. Who have found love, and are getting married. I don't have the words or usual sarcastic remarks to express how happy I am for them. And I must declare, Matthew better'd not invite me to his bachelor party for his own sake. [At least I think men who get married have bachelor parties..] I am most infamous for having a good time. :]

[ 5 cracked spines ] [ Speak up ][ Disclaimer ] [12 Oct 2002|12:31pm] [ mood | angry ] It's October. Always a good month for nostalgia. I'm already inebriated, and I've just opened a bottle of wine. It's time to get open. I'm sick and tired of caring about people. All it gets me is deeper in a hole. The deeper the care, the deeper the hole. I've lost too much to caring to be able to afford any more. But, you get what you give, right? All I need/want from life is a genuine CARE. The only thing that gives me comfort in life at this moment is knowing that eventually I'm not going to have to deal with it. Living for death may seem morbid, but at least it's honest. Half of me wants love, the other half would want to have less to do with it.. I need to make up my mind. Meheh.. I can't even read what I've written this far from the screen. I suppose it'll be a surprise. Is it possible to commit a hate crime against yourself? And what is it with the whole trip? I thought I was going to try to fly to America. ::Shrug:: America can suffer in my absense for a little while longer. Let's see you stuff that down your pipe and smoke it. Tada... I need book time.

[ Speak up ][ Disclaimer ] [09 Oct 2002|02:42pm] [ mood | blah ] Its been a while since I last wrote. Pretty pathetic, really, since I've been in front of the computer every day. But hey, it's my diary, I can update when I want. So piss off. I'm still missing Lisa, but trying to be comforted by the fact that it's only a few more days until I see her again. This time, perhaps in real life. It's pelting rain outside. That hard, angular kind of rain that makes you want to curl up under the sheets -- call in sick, delay your plans. Rain is beautiful until you're cold and tired and late and stuck in it. It's perfect from in here, watching from the window. Hm. Coffee.

[ 3 cracked spines ] [ Speak up ][ Disclaimer ] [08 Oct 2002|03:50pm] [ mood | thirsty ] I changed my lady kudrow's Livejournal layout as she requested. Blue and Purple are her favorite colors. Take a gander. Lisa, I love you. I'll do anything for you. ;] Right, need some more tea, and eatables and stuff before it's time to go and watch the football. For you Americans, *AhemPERRYahem* Football is what you call Soccer and vice versa. I don't know why people prefer to say it in the American way. Soccer. We made it up first.. Rebellious colonials. ;] I'm not sure why I'm making such a fuss over football. That's the sport of men who don't want to get all bloodied up. I personally prefer the large men beating the shit out of each other kind of games. I actually start to laugh at how pathetic and uncoordinated they are in their kicking and such. Let me loose out there and it'd be like snapping toothpicks. =] Being a martial arts maniac is posh, man. Tra la la la.. Don't get me wrong, I love you Americans. I even want to live in America. It's so cold and rainy here, and in America it's.. Not. America also houses my two most favorite people in the world. =] *AhemahemMATTHEWPERRYANDLISAKUDROWTHELOVEOFMYLIVEahemahem*

[ 7 cracked spines ] [ Speak up ][ Disclaimer ] [07 Oct 2002|06:36am] [ mood | lonely ] I watched Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion on the toob last night. With My One And Only starring in it. I miss her so much. It's been about two weeks since I last heard from her.. Two weeks too many. This is Ray Park feeling lonely.

[ 2 cracked spines ] [ Speak up ][ Disclaimer ] [05 Oct 2002|02:04pm] [ mood | weird ] I just had a shower. (Yes, I was alone..) I didn't have one yesterday. That might answer why I smelt funny yesterday, Matthew.

[ 5 cracked spines ] [ Speak up ][ Disclaimer ] [04 Oct 2002|06:08pm] [ mood | blah ] Yep, it's Jeans for Genes Day today. It means you can wear your jeans for work, pay £2 and all the money raised goes towards helping kids with genetic disorders. Oh yeah, you get a sticker when you pay too. Oh, I got busted eating lollies in K-mart today. Some store detective lady like.. Starting going off at me, then my little brother was swearing at her.. And she called him smarty pants, which I of course had to chuckle at. Adults are so shit at insults. But, still.. She made us throw away all the food we had from a little fast food lunch before hand we were eating. Little did she know, we had shit in our pockets. Eh, oh well. No more K-mart. No more obeying the rules, considering the consequences, none of that crap.

[ 10 cracked spines ] [ Speak up ][ Disclaimer ] [02 Oct 2002|04:51pm] [ mood | happy ] Do you ever get that feeling that you just want to hit your head off a brick wall and scream? I've got that right now. One moment I'm all ready to jump back into the fun and thrills, the next I'm filled with a thick hatred of all things human. To be honest, I'm not sure what my feelings are. I think I'd be depressed, but maybe the meds are stopping that. Good thing, I guess. Bad point is that now I'm not sure what to do or how to feel. I need people in my life. Hence the fact that I'm going to Americaaa. =] Land of the fatty foods. I'm going to have to train extra to trim down. Oh god. It fully just hit me. I'm actually going to America. I'm going to actually meet Matthew Langford Perry. I feel like I should be cackling or something.

[ 21 cracked spines ] [ Speak up ][ Disclaimer ] I'm a poet, who just didn't know it. [01 Oct 2002|06:27pm] [ mood | artistic ] Millions of peaches Peaches for me Trillions of peaches Peaches for free. I'm so cool. =]

[ 6 cracked spines ] [ Speak up ][ Disclaimer ] [01 Oct 2002|04:23pm] [ mood | hyper ] Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: I think so, Brain, but if the plural of mouse is mice, wouldn't the plural of spouse be spice? I <3 Lisa Kudrow.

[ 8 cracked spines ] [ Speak up ][ Disclaimer ] Like the new iconage? [30 Sep 2002|08:46pm] [ mood | pissed off ] Fuckin angry. Also, I can't find my Tax File Number. I'm so annoying sometimes. I WANT TO GO TO AMERICA (I have a poem for my Lisa.. Ahem.) Twinny poo, I heart you. It is true, I really do. Thank you. Goodnight.

[ 5 cracked spines ] [ Speak up ][ Disclaimer ] [29 Sep 2002|09:53pm] [ mood | devious ] Which ArchAngel are you most like? brought to you by Quizilla Lucifer. The most misunderstood of all the ArchAngels, you're most like the ArchAngel of Light. You've seen the darkside and have opted for something better. You need better press, though chances are no one will really understand your motives.

[ 6 cracked spines ] [ Speak up ][ Disclaimer ] [29 Sep 2002|11:17am] [ mood | loved ] I asked Lisa out a few days ago. And I swear.. I've been having the Phoebe Jeebies all week. Now I'm off to go buy her things that would make the Queen of England drool. =]

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